Flaming Pablum

2024 is Already a Hydra

Well, 2024 is off to a fierce and ferocious start.

Two elder members of my family are currently dealing with complications from contracting COVID, ... again ... on top of a lengthy laundry list of pre-existing, serious medical problems … but then, ANY medical problem is serious when you’re in your 80s. I’ve been running around town, procuring provisions for them to try to keep both of them alive without compromising my own health and losing my sanity … or what’s left of it … in the process.

I’m also doing battle with the dreaded FAFSA, after the IRS delayed it six months, and trying to chase down necessary documentation for that and then bundling my daughter back off to college this weekend.

As such, please be patient. I'll be back. 

Into 2024

I snapped this shot, earlier this week, during a somewhat freakish bout of fog that enshrouded Quogue on Boxing Day. I love how the road just sort of dissolves into the mist, belying any indication of what lies beyond. 

In actuality, this is a walk I regularly take when we're out there, and it's basically just a meandering loop around a portion of Quogue's upper reaches, north of Montauk Highway. While it looks opaque, there was really never a point wherein I didn't indeed know what was waiting behind that fog. 

Not quite so with 2024, though. While certain trajectories are in place, with courses informed by realistic expectations, there are still lots of unknowables on the work front, the home front and beyond. Lots of changes seem poised to take effect, leading proceedings in new, uncharted directions. What sort of year will it be? 

I don't expect to glean any answer to this question in the next few days. Currently, the household is consumed by a tenacious, communal cold (not COVID, mercifully), and even our remaining holiday plans seems poised to change, lending even further speculation as to what the future holds, both immediate and long term. 

In the short term, please enjoy the rest of your holiday season. Flaming Pablum will be back in action in the New Year. 

Goodbye to 2023

Alright, it’s only December 19, but the next several days promise to be busy, so I guess it’s time to dust this one off, once again.

WHAT DID YOU DO IN 2023 THAT YOU’D NEVER DONE BEFORE?

Hmmm, well, I had to wear a low cam boot for four weeks, that was certainly a new one, for me. As an ancillary bonus, it did absolutely nothing to solve the problem it was ostensibly designed to remedy, so yeah … how fun.

DID YOU KEEP YOUR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS, AND WILL YOU MAKE MORE FOR 2024?

I have found that resolutions are made to be brazenly broken, so no and no.

DID ANYONE CLOSE TO YOU GIVE BIRTH?

The wife of a new colleague of mine at the office just gave birth to their second son, which means my colleague will be missing from the office for several weeks in the new year.

DID ANYONE CLOSE TO YOU DIE?

Thankfully, no.

WHAT COUNTRIES DID YOU VISIT?

In June, we went to Italy for a couple of weeks, which I highly recommend. 

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE IN 2024 THAT YOU LACKED IN 2023?

I don’t like to dwell on the things I don’t have. That said, I’d love to have an actionable, proven remedy for my stupid foot problem, but I don’t know that it exists.

WHAT DATE FROM 2023 WILL REMAIN ETCHED UPON YOUR MEMORY?

It may sound histrionic, but waking up to the news that Geordie Walker of Killing Joke had died the Saturday morning after Thanksgiving is a moment that will definitely stay with me.

WHAT WAS YOUR BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT OF THE YEAR?

Oh, who knows? Staying marginally healthy, sane and employed, keeping my children fed, housed and educated and managing to endear myself enough to my wife for her not to want to routinely murder me.

WHAT WAS YOUR BIGGEST FAILURE?

Oh, I’m sure there’s a whole grab bag from which to choose, but, in my opinion, it was an instance wherein I was unable to effectively hide my frustration from an individual who insisted on making last-minute changes to a big, time-sensitive project at the office. While the project was completed on time and received praise from various parties, I was still reprimanded for it, which was kind of humiliating. That still stings.

DID YOU SUFFER ILLNESS OR INJURY?

Back in February, I was struck with a mystery virus that wasn’t COVID, which manifested as a recurring, low-grade fever that went on for two weeks. And, yes, I somehow broke a bone in my left foot, resulting in the avascular necrosis I continue to grapple with.

WHAT WAS THE BEST THING YOU BOUGHT?

Maybe this lovely pair of low-top Chuck Taylor All-Stars I’m currently wearing (brown with gold eyelets). Oh, and I picked up a nice, floor-model front hall mirror..

WHOSE BEHAVIOR MERITED CELEBRATION?

Both of my children continue to amaze me on a daily basis.

WHOSE BEHAVIOR MADE YOU APPALLED AND DEPRESSED?

Regardless of which poll you prefer to pay attention to, Donald Trump still has an astonishingly high degree of favorability among my fellow Americans, which fills me with withering disdain and blistering contempt.

WHAT DID YOU GET REALLY, REALLY EXCITED ABOUT?

My son Oliver has already been accepted at four colleges. We still have miles to go, but that validation (and relief) is really rewarding.

WHERE DID MOST OF YOUR MONEY GO?

If you go back and read my answer from last year about my building being assessed, it still holds true. I’m paying roughly $900 more in maintenance than I would otherwise normally, and will continue to until February.

WHAT SONG WILL ALWAYS REMIND YOU OF 2023?

Probably Depeche Mode’s “A Pain That I’m Used To,” specifically the live version of the Jacques Lu Cont remix that they played at the Madison Square Garden show Oliver and I caught back in the Spring.

COMPARED TO THIS TIME LAST YEAR, ARE YOU HAPPIER OR SADDER?

The past few months have been pretty rough on several people my family cares deeply about, and that’s sadly informed the mood of this season, a bit. Personally speaking, I’m a little bit down in the mouth, these days, and always waiting for the next shoe to drop, so to speak.

THINNER OR FATTER?

Oh, definitely fatter, which I think is symptomatic of my age. If I don’t curtail certain things, that’s only going to worsen, I fear.

RICHER OR POORER?

Until we reach the end of that assessment, I won’t fully sleep through the night.

WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU’D DONE MORE OF?

I wish I’d gotten a jump on certain things sooner. I am becoming more of a procrastinator, unfortunately.

WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU’D DONE LESS OF?

I can be strikingly undisciplined, at times. I wish that wasn’t the case.

HOW DID YOU SPEND CHRISTMAS?

It hasn’t happened yet, but we’re doing Christmas Eve here in NYC, then heading to my mom’s in Quogue on Christmas Day, then back to NYC and then off to my sister-in-law Katie’s in Pennsylvania for a few days, after that.

WHO DID YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME ON THE PHONE WITH?

Absolutely no idea.

DID YOU FALL IN LOVE IN 2023?

I’ve been very happily married since 2001.

HOW MANY ONE-NIGHT STANDS IN THE LAST YEAR?

See answer above. Also, who would answer this question?

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TV PROGRAM?

They come and go, and I forget (not a good sign), but I sincerely enjoyed the last season of “C.B. Strike” and I’m currently loving “Slow Horses.” Gary Oldman is so goddamn great.

DO YOU HATE ANYONE NOW THAT YOU DIDN’T HATE AT THIS TIME LAST YEAR?

What a question. Well, Donald Trump, obviously, although I’ve always hated him, so that’s not really new. Vivek Ramaswany seems entirely worthy of intense hatred. Seriously, fuck THAT guy. Ron DeSantis is a complete dick, but he just seems more stupid than anything else.

WHAT WAS THE BEST BOOK YOU READ?

I really enjoyed "I Die Each Time I Hear The Sound" by Mike Doughty, but especially loved “This Must Be the Place” by Jesse Rifkin. That kid is going places.

WHAT WAS YOUR GREATEST MUSICAL DISCOVERY?

I hate to say it, but 2023 just wasn’t a good year for me with new music, although my favorite new album from a new band was easily Negative Stars by Skull Practitioners.

New music aside, 2023 was a great year for live shows. My son and I caught Life in a Blender at the Rockwood Music Hall, Jerry Harrison and Adrian Belew at Sony Hall, Depeche Mode at Madison Square Garden, Sisters of Mercy at King's Theater in Brooklyn, Calexico at Le Poisson Rouge, Squeeze and the Psychedelic Furs at Radio City, Duran Duran at the Forest Hills Stadium, The Mission, Theatre of Hate and The Chameleons at Le Poisson Rouge and The Damned at Warsaw in Brooklyn. 

WHAT DID YOU WANT AND GET?

I really wanted my son to be accepted at Trinity Dublin, and he got in. That doesn’t mean he’s going there, but it was tremendously great news that he was accepted.

WHAT DID YOU WANT AND NOT GET?

How come Trump is still not yet in fucking prison?

WHAT WERE YOUR FAVORITE FILMS OF THIS YEAR?

The fact that I cannot remember seems pretty telling, doesn’t it? I didn’t see “Barbie.” I didn’t see “Oppenheimer.” I was profoundly disappointed by “May December.” I’m sure once I post this, I’ll remember one.

WHAT DID YOU DO ON YOUR BIRTHDAY AND HOW OLD WERE YOU?

I turned 56, which is no fun at all, but I had a lovely dinner at home with my wife and son (Charlotte was at school).

WHAT’S ONE THING THAT WOULD HAVE MADE YOUR YEAR IMMEASURABLY MORE SATISFYING?

Trump’s incarceration. I’d have loved it if Oliver and I were able to make it to the Killing Joke show at the Royal Albert Hall in London, back in March, but work demands and school schedules forbade.

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONAL FASHION CONCEPT IN 2023?

Lost without hope of retrieval.

WHAT KEPT YOU SANE?

The need to be there for my family.

WHAT CELEBRITY/PUBLIC FIGURE DID YOU FANCY MOST?

This question always seems roundly inappropriate.

WHAT POLITIAL ISSUE STIRRED YOU THE MOST?

Trump trial(s).

WHO DID YOU MISS?

Each year, more and more of my most admired individuals pass away, and we lost some great ones in 2023, like Sinead O'Connor, Mark Stewart of the Pop Group, Andy Rourke of The Smiths....but this year, absolutely nothing holds a candle to the loss of Geordie Walker of my beloved Killing Joke.

WHO WAS THE BEST NEW PERSON YOU MET?

Probably Mariano Cabrera, who spearheaded the Charly Garcia Corner movement.

TELL US A VALUABLE LIFE LESSON YOU LEARNED IN 2023?

You don’t have to be screaming for it to be broken. Don’t be fooled.

SONG LYRIC THAT SUMS UP 2023.

Absent Friends Shall Live By Love
- Killing Joke

22 Years Later

Back From The Boot

Hey there, all… Apologies for the relative slowdown, but upon my return from Italy this past Saturday, I’ve really hit the ground running. Well, may be not so much running as urgently limping. See, while I’m incredibly grateful to work where I do, the work itself does not wait for me when I’m away. This was compounded by the relatively sudden departure of a colleague of mine just prior to my vacation. As such, I came back from Italy with twice as many demands on my plate, and I’ve been doing my best to catch-up and make it all work. I’m sure you can understand.

In terms of the trip, what can I say? It was spectacular. Truly, one has not properly eaten food until one has experienced the culinary richness of Italy. They know what they’re doing. Just as one fleeting example, at a friend’s recommendation, we stopped by a restaurant in Rome called Colline Emiliane and it was without question the greatest meal I’ve ever had in my 55 years. I’m not kidding. Every other meal was amazing, as well. Even if you’re getting the most clichéd dish – arguably the Carbonara – it’ll genuinly blow a new part in your hair.

Beyond that, Rome is a tirelessly remarkable city, from the warmth of its people to the breathtaking art and architecture around virtually corner to the fascinating wellspring of its rich, magnificent history. Similarly, the Umbrian countryside is absolutely stunning, as are its myriad towns like Orvietto, Assisi, Spoletto, Spelo and Todi, each with their own, individual aspects to recommend them. The whole trip was amazing.

It wasn’t all delicious gelato, though. As I mentioned just prior to leaving, to my continuing astonishment, I have been walking around on broken bones in my left foot for some indeterminate amount of time, and the increasing discomfort brought on by same was already reaching a new level before I’d even departed. Rome and Umbria, meanwhile, are basically all uneven ground. I basically spent ten days subjecting my dumb, lame foot to uneven stone stairs, cobblestone streets, maddening inclines or combinations of all three (see picture above). That aspect was honestly torture, but what was I gonna do? Not walk around? Fuck that! I just did my best to bite the bullet, keep my complaining (relatively) at bay and get through it, which I did.

Upon my arrival home, I checked back in with cheeky Dr. Quip (not his real name, as immortalized here). I relayed my ambulatory exploits, and he rewarded me with a “prouder” (i.e. more pronounced) pad to be tucked into my left sneaker whilst I await the arrival of the my “short air cam walker fracture boot” which I’ll presumably be sporting later this very week. I’m sure I’ll have a litany of anecdotal grievances to relay from a few days of lurching around in that shit, so look forward to that.

Beyond the heartbreaking news about Jesse Malin, I was saddened to learn of the deaths of local hero Philipe Marcade of the Senders (who I’ve discussed here before), guitarist John Waddington of The Pop Group (and so soon after the demise of his bandmate Mark Stewart) and Teresa Taylor of the Butthole Surfers, who finally passed away from her illness this past weekend.

Back at you soon. 

Liberty or Desk

News came down, this week, that Paramount Media Networks were essentially scrapping what was left of MTV News, an outlet some here might remember that I worked at for a hot minute (well, almost two years) in the mid-2000’s. As I’ve suggested before, while getting laid off from said gig was certainly no goddamn fun, I genuinely learned a lot at that place and met scores of brilliant, funny and inspiring individuals, most of whom I’m proud to still call friends this many years later. While most of the people I’d worked alongside had also left the auspices of the company, by this point, the news still made me sad.

In tribute, like many of my former colleageus, I posted some pictures online, notably a shot of me and Mr. T (above), who strangely dropped by the office one day. This happened quite often, actually. At various points, I had Sacha Baron-Cohen (in “Borat” mode), Busta Rhymes, Bono, Amy Winehouse, Fat Mike from NOFX (never liked them) and Ghostface Killah from the Wu-Tang Clan loitering around my cubicle while I was trying to work. It was just that sort of place. In addition to the portrait of myself and my BFF, Mr. T, I posted a picture of that old desk there (see below), as did many other folks. My former manager chimed in saying that he’d wished he’d taken a picture of his desk, as these images served as a sort of time capsule.

In any case, prompted by same, while waiting for some crucial assets to arrive at my current office, this morning, I put this silly composite together. Enjoy.

My desk at Denison University during my sophomore year (1986-1987). You’ll notice the surface of the desk uncluttered with any semblance of actual work.

My first gig outside of college was as an intern at SPIN Magazine, where – tellingly – I didn’t really have my own desk. Similarly, my first paying gig at LIFE Magazine … as a copy clerk … didn’t come with its own desk either (as, most of the time, I was busy running around the office delivering copy churned out from a printer – this was all prior to the ubiquity of the internet). I did eventually land a desk as an editorial assistant at LIFE, in a cubicle in the hall outside the News Editor’s office, but I don’t believe I ever captured that on film. After getting laid off from LIFE in 1993, I decamped to TIME, where after faffing about in various administrative positions, I landed a job at the TIME Magazine News Desk, which did come, at last, with a desk. I was basically there from 1993 until the end of 2005.

There came a point, for me, at the News Desk wherein I felt I was long overdue for a change. I’d been there, basically, far too long, and was still working two grueling overnight shifts a week. While I’d branched out, by this point, and actually written a few items for the magazine (notably several contributions to a special music issue, some small news items in the front of the book and Bono’s eulogy to Joey Ramone, which I orchestrated), I was really ready to make a break, albeit with a heavy heart. I loved working at TIME, but when an amazing opportunity opened up for me at the online wing of MTV News over in Times Square, I jumped.

Once again, my tenure at MTV News was comparatively brief. The writing was on the wall, really, when the excellent gent who’d hired me was laid off. It was really only a matter of time before they shook the tree further and I lost my own grip. That said, I will continue to believe that a lot of that was my own doing. I had a great opportunity, at that place, to really distinguish myself and assert my own voice, but too often, I failed to do so. I didn’t make myself essential, and thus paid the inevitable price. Once again, while that was no fun, it was still a hugely rewarding experience to work there, and the friends I made I still cherish.

After getting the keys to the street from MTV News at 1515 Broadway, I waffled about until landing a part-time spot as a homepage editor at MSN.com, the Microsoft portal. This found me working in a bullpen in a building directly across Sixth Avenue from my old stomping grounds at the TIME-LIFE Building. This was a fun-but-nervy position in that, being that I wasn’t technically on staff, so I had to take three months off after every six (or something … I honestly don’t remember), and then hope to God they hired me back after those lean three months. But, I did have my own desk….

From MSN, I somehow cajoled one of our lovely content providers from TODAY.com to consider the heroically unlikely prospect of hiring me on at that morning show’s web concern as an editor. I surprisingly managed to land that position with very little fuss, finding me orchestrating content on the site’s homepage, and writing strenuously incongruous copy for its parenting blog (TODAY Moms), its fashion blog (The Look) and its royal-wedding-countdown blog (The Windsor Knot). I started in 2010 and was essentially catapulted out of my chair in 2014. While I was able to do a lot of fun stuff, there, I was not really of the ideal sensibility for that particular position and never really a good fit, despite, once again, meeting hundreds of great people, there. I was also excised from proceedings in a kind of dehumanzing way, but I gather that was the company’s M.O. Leaving TODAY.com was ultimately a good thing, for me, but that chapter was particularly humbling, at the time. But, y’know, I did have a desk. It was like working in windowless, orange submarine.

After landing with a brittle thud on the cold, hard but worryingly familiar tundra of unemployment once again, I busied myself with lots of temp positions and freelance writing (something I’d done throughout), but being without a stable job with benefits when you’ve got a wife and two still small children was no friggin’ picnic. I entertained some unthinkable options. I came very close, at one point, to lobotomizing myself in order to take a job at FOX News, but ultimately (and rightly) demurred. I was engaged in some very lengthy talks with some outlets that didn’t make me want to spit up, but too often, the numbers were not right, so to speak.

Eventually, I got the right offer from the concern that I’ve now been at for about seven years, and am very happy. Not only did I get a desk, but for the first time, I got my own office (as opposed to another bullpen or a shared space). Huzzah!

I’ve sort of over-decorated it.

Friday's Paper

One for the history books...

Soon.....

Rendered by AI, evidently.... suitable for framing.

Status Report

I’m just starting the busiest part of the year, at work, so please bear with me if there’s a bit of a slowdown in posting here. I just have to bear down and get through it. I’ll resume normal activity as soon as I am able. I’m sure you understand.

Meanwhile, there’s lots of speculation about the possibility of Trump being indicted tomorrow. My office is in great proximity to the Civic Center, down in lower Manhattan, where all the court houses are, and there’s lots of preparation for the threat of violent protest ala January 6. As such, Tuesday could be very interesting.

Meanwhile, just to clear up any lingering misconceptions, here’s how I’m feeling about it.

You Give Me Fever...

I’d like apologize for yet another delay in regular service. Mercifully, the vexing broken-image problem I was bitching about in the previous post has been (for now) rectified, but I’ve been sidelined in a different capacity.

Around just this time last week, I suddenly came down with a persistent, low-grade fever. Having only just had COVID in December, I didn’t expect it could be that — and, sure enough, it wasn’t. I kept my temperature in check with some Tylenol and hoped it would swiftly pass. It didn’t.

With no other major symptoms other than frequent chills, perpetual aches and feeling trapped in a sort of a zonked-out stupor (more so than usual), I’ve endured the fever swiftly returning like clockwork every six hours. By Wednesday, it climbed to 104, which prompted me to go to urgent care. Mercifully, I have one right down the street.

They believe it’s this viral infection that’s been going around, and basically told me to stick with my Tylenol regimen, which I’m reluctantly doing.

Concentration is hard. Comfort is impossible. Energy is fleeting. Moods are sombre. I should be so lucky that I can even be this marginally coherent. And if you're bummed out about it, imagine how my office feels.

Bear with me.