As just mentioned, my son Oliver and I went to go see DEVO on Tuesday night at the lovely Brooklyn Paramount, and standing amidst the sold-out throng of devotees, my view of proceedings onstage was again repeatedly impeded by multiple idiots insisting on trying to video large swathes of the performance. It keeps happening.
Even at my arguably lofty height of 6'1", my line of vision was regularly interrupted by the dopey attempts of fellow patrons to capture seemingly as much as they could, even if the end results were going to be unwatchably unsteady and plagued with patchy sound. Hell, there was even a woman a few feet in front of me who -- presumably because of her short physical stature -- was holding her phone up with the video function on, but not actually recording – she was basically using it as an ersatz periscope to see the stage. This sort of shit drives me absolutely crazy (as I’ve mentioned before).
At the very real risk of laboriously repeating myself (too late), the fruits of their inconsiderate labor are invariably going to look and sound like absolute shite, but maybe they don’t even care about that. Perhaps it’s simply more about asserting, over social media, that “HEY, WORLD, I WAS HERE AT THIS PLACE DOING THIS THING!” and presenting the visual evidence, regardless of its demonstrably low quality. Look, I’m absolutely no fucking stranger to oversharing my stupid shit all over Facebook and Instagram, let alone this blog. I am entirely guilty of presumptuously showcasing far too much of my comparatively insignificant activity to a (so far) patient and forgiving world. I understand the impetus to do that, however silly, but whipping your phone out at concerts still fails to take account for the ripple effects.
Put simply, by constantly holding up your shitty smartphone to capture video of a performance (let alone tweaking the screen to zoom in and sharpen, etc.), you are inevitably going to be either literally obstructing your fellow concert-goers’ view, or you’re going to be replicating the television-in-a-dive-bar effect. Ever notice when you’re sitting in a dark bar with a television on that your eyes repeatedly fixate on the screen (whether the sound is on or not)? Ever been trying to sleep on a plane and be distracted by the jackass across the aisle and two rows up from you who insists on watching “Fast & Furious XIX” in an otherwise slumbering cabin? It’s the same thing with a smartphone. However small that little, lit-up rectangle might seem, it’s going to be unwittingly attracting all nearby eyeballs. It’s just the way we’re hard-wired, now.
Some will charitably lambast this sort of behavior as a lack of situational awareness – i.e. they are simply too conditioned to be busily satisfying their desires to consider how their activities might be impacting those around them. I’m not quite so forgiving. I’d sooner characterize it as brazen situational indifference. However dim they might be, I still give them enough credit to be able to discern how their shenanigans might be annoying. It’s not that they’re not cognizant of it, it’s that they are simply and selfishly do not give a fuck. I find that unacceptable.
This is when I usually tap someone on the shoulder and – with all the courtesy, restraint and thoughtful diplomacy that I can muster – ask them to put their phone down and simply “enjoy being in the moment.” And lemme tell ya, I’ve been to plenty of goddamn concerts. I have an overstuffed, three-ring binder full of old tickets stubs. I’ve been to more shows – from big-budget productions in enormodomes and arenas to clandestine, guerilla-style gigs in makeshift, underground basements – than my audiologist would ever recommend as advisable, but I captured video at precious few of them. I’ll take a few pictures, every now and again, but that’s usually it. I’d rather simply soak in and savor the experience in real time. Everyone should try that, sometime.
Obviously, asking someone to put their phone away doesn’t always go down so well. More often than not, I’m unsurprisingly instructed to go fuck myself, although, on one occasion, I had two German dudes at a Depeche Mode gig apologize to me profusely for the remainder of the show, which was almost just as annoying as them waving their phones around.
While this all may paint me as a curmudgeonly luddite of the variety that yells at clouds and invites you off his lawn, rest assured that I am not the only one. Bob Dylan and Glen Danzig – and how’s THAT for a duo? – are in lock-step on the issue, and take measures to prevent phones at their shows (although if you’ve seen our Glen wheeze through some of the more recent festival appearances with the Misfits, you might well understand why he doesn’t want that captured on video). There was also this great moment of Nick Cave – ironically captured on someone’s smartphone:
Bless him.
The other bad thing about cell phone videos of concerts it that, quite often, the end results can showcase shortcomings you may not have noticed while enjoying it in the moment. What one might recall about a celestial guitar solo can be coldly eviscerated by a telling bit of video evidence to the contrary. Not every show is going to be pitch-perfect and smooth. Once again, ask Danzig about that. Not everything requires that level of documenting.
The DEVO show Oliver and I witnessed on Tuesday night in Brooklyn was, of course, captured on video and posted, I believe, later the same evening by an enterprising YouTuber who calls himself Tito Santana. You can watch it here, should you care to.
Beyond this blog, I’ve raised this issue with friends and colleagues, and no one seems to be as bent out of shape about it as I am, which I guess isn’t too surprising, given my penchant for complaining. While I was putting this post together, however, I came across THIS ANCIENT POST from 2008, wherein I get all hot and bothered about having to even own a cellphone.
I remain out of step, but at least I’m somewhat consistent.
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