Here’s yet another nasty little post wherein I pettily take some doe-eyed whippersnapper to task for getting shit wrong, contributing to the propagation of misinformation and helping further ruin my hometown.
I don’t know who “influencer” Shelby Church is. I’m sure she’s a well-meaning, upstanding human being who is hard-working and kind to her neighbors. Regardless, like Brett Conti and Elena Taber before her (both of whom I’ve eviscerated here before – and who both appear in the video below), she’s decided to cast herself as some sort of amabassador for New York City, despite demonstrably knowing fucking nothing about it. She made the video below after being here for a month.
That sort of shit sets my teeth on edge. Ironically, this post is coming hot on the heels of my own heroically under-informed guide to Dublin, but I at least had the decency to point out that I'm nothing but a clueless tourist in that fine city.
Now, granted, it can well be said that I essentially live in the past and pine in vain for a New York City that no longer exists and is never coming back. While that indeed may be true, and that I should acclimate to the hyper-gentrified reality, that doesn’t mean that facts have become flexible. Wrong is fucking wrong, and I’m here to point it out when I see it.
Some surface-level comments right from the start:
1. Stop sitting on the fucking pavement. We fucking HATE that.
2. NO ONE has EVER lived in Times Square.
3. Brett Conti is NOT NOT NOT a “native New Yorker.” He’s from Massapequa, Long Island. Very big difference.
4. Don’t listen to Elana Taber about anything. Also, there is significantly more to a neighborhood beyond its "cute" shops, restaurants and bars.
5. Union Square is NOT in the East Village.
6. The East Village is PART of the Lower East Side.
7. Washington Square Park is NOT NOT NOT in the West Village, it’s fucking Greenwich Village. Get it right. The West Village is WEST of fucking Sixth Avenue, you dolts!
I could keep going, but I’ll let you experience it for yourself. Enjoy thirteen minutes of idiotic blather from a gaggle of clueless whistleheads. There is no useful information here at all.
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