Regular readers -– if they exist -– might remember a post I penned here back in 2018 that was basically a curmudgeonly dressing-down of a young “vlogger” named Brett Conti. At the time, Conti was this prolific YouTube personality with his own “channel” who produced an unwieldy amount of videos showcasing his idealized life in New York City and other parts of the globe, offering cloying tips and annoying millennial lingo while not-so-subtly pushing his shamelessly aspirational streetwear brand. That all left a bad taste in my mouth, so I talked a bunch of shit about it, albeit prefaced with the acknowledgment that, as an arguably equally insufferable blogger, I ultimately was not really all that different from him. He just had a wider reach, I guess.
Four years later, I can only assume that Brett Conti is still at it, but I haven’t bothered to check. In any case, this post targets a similarly inclined character, although I doubt I’ll be as charitable and forgiving as I was to Conti. Like anyone cares.
Cash Jordan (above) is another young, presumably transplanted New Yorker (not that that means anything, as I mentioned here) who has made a name for himself, since 2019, posting videos on YouTube and TikTok. A self-described “rental expert,” Jordan devotes most of his content to real estate, highlighting what he considers quirky finds and amazing luxury opportunities amidst New York City’s roiling sea of rentable residences. I have no problem with that, necessarily. Real estate is indeed a hustle – my own mother was a real estate agent for many years – and it really does require a sharp savvy and a spine of steel. I don’t know if Jordan has either, but he does seem to be reaching a good amount of folks – like, in the millions -- with his clips.
No, my problem is with the persistent bent of his content. Viewing New York City exclusively through a prism of amenities-&-conveniences and seemingly without any real reverence or curiosity about the back histories or cultural significances of the neighborhoods, places and locales he’s focusing on, Jordan seems to perceive New York City simply as one, amorphous pile of potential revenue opportunity.
Again, he’s a real estate agent, so I understand that that’s his gig. But he couches his videos with such an alarmist, defeatist tone. Typical titles include “NYC May Never Recover,” “New York City is Getting Worse,” “The Worst Part of NYC is…,” “I’m Leaving NYC…,” “NYC is Running Out of Apartments Like This,” “We Had to Leave NYC,” “The Sad Truth About New York City,” etc. etc. etc.
Pardon me, Cash, but if you’re so down on it, why don’t you go on back to whatever rinkydink divot on the map you crawled out of and fuck right off? Here’s a typical example of one of Cash’s video. Let’s watch, shall we?
Now, for a start, this building on the corner or Lafayette & Bleecker is very decidedly not “NYC’s Weirdest Building.” While it may slightly deviate from the norm given the contours of the block it occupies, that doesn’t really make it bizarre or even slightly weird in any meaningful capacity. The narrowest part he alludes to at the northerly end of the block isn’t even technically part of the overall structure, but a separate, enclosed portion unto itself. Formerly housing retail ventures of one sort or another, this chunk has been dormant for over a decade or so, by this point. A million years ago, it was actually a gas station. It’s also made cameos, in the past, in music videos like “Just Got Paid” by Johnny Kemp (which was shot before they put in that narrow, pointed part at the end). Those bits of history aren’t especially difficult to discover, but I guess Cash wasn’t up for any Googling the day he put this together. He’s more interested in its utilization as a placement for ads.
While it’s ostensibly the subject of this video, the allegedly mysterious building is really only window dressing, here. Cash doesn’t really delve into, reveal anything or reward his viewers with any sort of fruition. He just uses it as hollow springboard to remind viewers how difficult it is to make it all work in this city and show you a different apartment that has nothing to do with this corner.
Now, look, he seems like a perfectly nice guy, and he should be congratulated for this lucrative niche he's carved out for himself, but friggin' DO BETTER, Cash. Treat New York City with the respect it deserves.
That "weird building" back in the day...
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