A bunch of years back, I posted a windy little entry that sought to debunk the arguable cache of being a native New Yorker. I mean, yeah, being originally from here certainly comes with myriad inherent advantages, but being born here is something that only happens out of a combination of wildly uncontrollable circumstances and pure luck. Having been born in New York City doesn’t immediately imbue an individual with some supernatural arsenal of weapons-grade street smarts, urbane sophistication and/or some greater power of cognition. It’s nurture that does that, not nature. To buffer my point, I appended a laundry list of names I considered consummate New Yorkers – individuals that, to my mind, personified all the attributes of the city – but that weren’t actually born here. Thurston Moore was one of those names.
Wrongly cited by me as having been born in Connecticut, Thurston Moore was actually born in Coral Gables, Florida, which is very approximately 1,284 miles from East 14th Street, give or take. Moore moved to the East Village in Manhattan in 1979, romanced here by the music of Patti Smith. Following stints in proto-hardcore band Even Worse, Glenn Branca’s guitar orchestra and a band called The Coachmen, Moore formed Sonic Youth with Kim Gordon (herself from Rochester) around 1981. The rest, as they say, is history. In relatively short order, Sonic Youth became a kind of a quintessential New York band in the same vein as their forebears in the Velvet Underground, The New York Dolls, The Ramones, etc. A concussive amalgam of art, noise and attitude, the very name Sonic Youth became synonymous with downtown New York City.
All this laborious preamble is all to underscore the point that, in my estimation, Thurston Moore is very much still a bona fide New Yorker, even if he currently lives in London.
Now if it’s one thing New Yorkers – native or otherwise – have strong opinions about, it’s pizza.
While originally an Italian dish dating back to the 10th century, pizza as we know it is essentially a New York City thing. Sure, different cities have tried to put their spin on it, but it’s still inarguably New York’s great culinary contribution. That’s not just my opinion, it’s just a fucking fact.
Personally speaking, I think Manhattan, with regard to pizza, is in steep decline. Once upon a time … and not even that long ago … pizza parlors were as plentiful as Manhattan’s ….er… bookstores and record shops. I used to be able to rattle off seven or eight worthy locales wherein to procure a respectable-to-exemplary slice in practically each and every neighborhood I frequented. Back then, it seems a decent pizzeria could be found within only a couple of blocks’ walk. Here in 2021, I’m afraid that’s just not the case.
Sure, there are plenty of higher-end pizza places around. I have nothing against those, but I’m speaking more about the street-food variety. Slightly more revered than the hot dog (and invariably healthier), a good slice has become perilously hard to put one’s hand to, although mediocrity is always in great supply. Then, of course, there is the somewhat new trend of “$1 pizza” which is a deplorable, function-over-form disservice to the city’s legacy and traditions.
For my money, while former favorites like St. Marks Pizza on St. Marks Place, The Pizza Box on Bleecker Street and several joints peppered around the Upper East Side of my now-distant youth are all long, long gone, you can still get yourself a slice to be proud of at Joe’s on Carmine just off Bleecker Street, although they’ve assuredly been discovered, by this point. I’m also quite fond of Village Pizza on 8th Avenue, just north of West 13th Street. My wife is a longtime supporter of Pizza Mercato on Waverly Place, but I’m afraid I have to part with her on that front. In terms of our immediate neighborhood, I used to regularly haunt the Stromboli’s on University Place between 12th and 13th Streets. That whole block was razed several years back (taking Bowlmor Lanes with it), and that pizzeria is no more. I used to laboriously point out how I once ducked in out the rain there one night and found myself sharing a slice in silence with notoriously thorny Television front-man and New York Punk Rock pioneer, Tom Verlaine. I wonder where he gets his slices these days.
Every New Yorker has their go-to, even in these comparatively dark times. It’s for this reason that I was somewhat shocked to spy on Thurston Moore’s Instagram page the below declaration. Of the establishment Little Italy Pizza III on my own University Place, he writes….
My go to cheese slice in nyc these days. Not in Little Italy but on University between 13/14th west side of street. The crust w just the right crunch appeal and slice thickness neither too thin too fat, the sauce etc on the money, downed w a fountain iced coke - boom yr off.
Now, again, far be it from me to doubt the tastes of Thurston Goddamn Moore of Sonic Fucking Youth, but the eyebrow-raise this post prompted has left creases in my forehead. Also, not for nothing, it's not "a cheese slice," it's just a slice. The cheese goes without saying. Without cheese, it ceases being proper pizza, goddammit.
But as far as this place is concerned, as Thurston even concedes, so-called Little Italy III is fucking Hell and gone from actual Little Italy. For this ruse alone, I think I’ve always shunned the place. Secondly, it’s like a bus station with a pizza oven. It looks like a Five Guys’ men’s room. I’m not saying a proper pizzeria has to be aesthetically pleasing (Village Pizza, by way of comparison, is frill-free in absolutely every conceivable way), but there’s a garishly over-lit, antiseptic quality to the interior of Little Italy III that has always driven me away from it. It looks just as uninviting as the 99 Cent Pizza closet on Sixth Avenue adjacent to the West 4th Street-Washington Square subway station – which always looks like a fine place to get stabbed. Never once have I considered grabbing a slice at this place. Nothing about it says “come sample our fare.” Nothing at all. To me it looks like a chapel of heartburn and regret.
But hey … fuck do I know? I didn’t write Daydream Nation.
What's your favorite pizzeria?
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