'The Earth Which Fed You Now Consumes You'

Remember when January used to be just, y'know, *cold*, ... and not the frigid harbinger of a bleak and globally unlivable future Hellscape where all semblance of life is mercilessly terminated by a vengeful deity who knows not of the concept of compassion?

Seriously, the weather report now reads like something penned by H.P. Lovecraft.

With that in mind, given that weather is now suitably couched in all things doom and horror, I believe the weather bureau should jettison prospective names like "Grayson," Vicky" and "Dave" for these storms, and start choosing appropriate monikers like "Winter Storm Cthulhu," "Bomb Cyclone Yog-Sothoth" and "Extinction Level Event Hastur the Unspeakable."

Be safe out there.