DudeBros Gotta Earn It!

Earlier this week, whern our apricot-tinted dictator read a bunch of lies and platitudes from a teleprompter and blithely exploited the widow of a Navy SEAL whose death he eschewed all responsibility for, it became abundantly clear that bullshit is king in 2017. Truth is all subjective. Wrong is right. Cats love dogs, etc.

But instead of discussing that -– or further developments like Attorney General Jeff Sessions needing to recuse himself after being caught for lying his mealy mouth off about being in contact with fucking Russian officials during the election season --- I’m going to discuss some comparatively super trivial shit. I can’t keep banging the political drum here. I don’t expect many come to this blog for that sorta stuff. Lord know there’s enough of it elsehwere. I can’t speak for yours, but my Facebook feed is like an angry roll of flaming toilet paper these days (not that I’m really helping, but still..).

Anyway, in terms of stupid shit that pisses me off of a pointedly NON-political nature, I keep seeing this irritating headline popping up on a regular basis, that being, 12 Albums Every Dude Should Own.

Now, I’m sure writer James Sheldon -– who penned this piece a little over a year ago for a man-centric pop culture outlet dubbed GOLIATH –- is a well-intentioned and savvy gent, but there’s something about the whole premise that sets my teeth on edge.

Listen, the bottom line is this: You can’t teach taste. You have to develop it on your own. It must be cultivated via your own experience. It’s an organic process.

But, then, this piece doesn’t seem to even be about that. While, yes, Sheldon probably genuinely does harbor an affinity for these particular albums (however pedestrian some of them are), the overaching intention of the article is to provide a short-cut for “dudes” without the time or inclination to do the work themselves. It is pure affectation. In much the same way Urban Outfitter sells vinyl LP’s as do-it-yourself hipster accessories to be strewn just-so across one’s coffee table, this article is a shallow device to help “bros” create the façade of having a well-rounded, cannonical knowledge of popular music.

Sorry, but it doesn’t work that way.

I remember Rolling Stone magazine used to sell these dinky, compact-disc-sized paperback guides with a similar intent, ala “25 Crucial Rock Albums No Collection Should Be Without” (or something ridiculous to that same effect). The whole intention of these books seemed to be to coax commentary from impressionable shelf-perusers. “Ooh, Dan, you’ve got albums by The Flying Burrito Brothers, Brian Eno AND A Tribe Called Quest -– You’re so ECLECTIC!!!”

Obviously, the best music journalism is the kind that illuminates and informs. While the deliberately negative stuff can be fun to read – let alone much easier and tremendously more fun to write –- composing thoughtful, evocative prose that credibly evangelizes music in a manner that prompts genuine reader interest is no small feat. But in those rare instances, I dare suggest that it is solely about the listening experience, and not even remotely concerned about contriving some sort of instant semblance of esoteric taste.

Indeed, whet their musical appetites, but prompt them to seek out and discover for themselves. By all means, write about music. But do it because you’re legitimately moved to share the life-enriching pleasure of that music with the uninitiated, not to help lazy dudebros make the right impression with a “Get Hip Quick” scheme.

ADDENDUM: It occurred to me, shortly after posting this, that had GOLIATH simply titled the post "12 Albums Every Dude Should HEAR," I never would have thought twice about it.

Comments

[David George]

I also get really annoyed when I see idiotic posts like the one posted by Goliath.

This is a key point:

>>the overaching intention of the article is to provide a short-cut for “dudes” without the time or inclination to do the work themselves. It is pure affectation.

I've known people like this over the years, who collected music the way kids once collected baseball cards. They may have been "completists" in some sense of the word, but had no idea of any context of what they were buying and ostensibly listening to.

And the Goliath list is annoying because I feel there are some entries that contradict others. I can see the connection between Toys in the Attic and it's descendant, Appetite for Destruction, but where the hell does Aquemini fit in?

If any "dude" or (dudette for that matter), owned this collection I'd suspect that they were the type of person who also collects unrelated, meaningless facts (a garbage salad) to share over cocktails or whatever they share these days.

And I'm pretty irate at the appropriation of Ziggy. Sorry, this schmuck at Goliath wouldn't even know this album existed if Bowie were quietly enjoying his retirement right now. (And the timing of the original posting seems to coincide with his untimely demise: He was all over the news when this was posted, so it was included.) Yes--great album and I still have my very scratched vinyl copy that I bought in 1975 or thereabouts. But this is on the list only because he died.

The fact that neither Exile on Main Street or London Calling are on this list makes it completely bogus. Either of those is far more 'essential' than anything listed. But then again I think either of those is far too complex for the typical wash-and-wear dude or dudette. Ironically both have 18 very diverse songs, which is more than the audience for this list could handle. They do not have the attention span.

[Utherben]

I suspect Mr. Sheldon only received "exposure" instead of a check for writing that - the fate of many an "online content creator". Perhaps GOLIATH got exactly what it paid for?

That being said, the bit on Portihead was so ridiculous ("Just be sure to avoid calling this woman a chick!") LOL.

[Jeff Jotz]

I understand that You can't teach taste, but during our time spent as an impressionable youngster, there are individuals and circumstances that can help a kid chart a unique cultural pathway. Most of that isn't deliberate.

[David George]

>>there are individuals and circumstances that can help a kid chart a unique cultural pathway

Having a big brother helps.