Inexplicably, my kids have the day off today. That struck me as rather odd -- in my fourteen years of Catholic school, never once did we get St. Patrick's Day off, but it's a different world, I guess. As such, my wife was wondering what she should do with the kids today, and asked if she should take them to the parade. I couldn't stop myself from grimacing. Now, don't get your shamrocks all bent out of shape -- I'm not knocking the holiday. Hell, I'm half-Irish myself. But let's face, New York City's St. Patrick's Day parade has relatively precious fuck-all to do with being Irish, and more to do with drinking, puking, crowds and stirring up trouble in the street. What ... am I wrong?
During my high school years, I lived on East 86th Street in Yorkville on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. As such, the St. Patrick's Day (btw, you will never hear me refer to it as "St. Patty's") parade marched up Fifth Avenue, then hung a wobbly right on 86th and descended beerily into my neighborhood, cramming its sidewalks with obstreperous celebrants and filling its gutters with rivulets of kelly-green refuse. I remember Father Prior sternly advising my classmates and I in an indelible, red-faced admonition against partaking in any of the shenanigans at the parade.
Maybe things have changed since then, but I kinda doubt it. St. Patrick's Day has basically lost most of its meaning and is now just another excuse -- much like New Year's Eve and Halloween -- for out-of-towners to flock into Manhattan and behave like abject morons. And 90% of them probably don't know their County Cork from their County Kerry, but are more than happy to bust into a strenuous a cappella rendition of the U2 anthem of your choice should you quiz them about the emerald isle.
To punctuate my point, I gave the wife a quick viewing of the 1992 staple below (portions of it lovingly filmed in the Old Town Bar & Grill on East 18th Street and in front of St. Patrick's Old Cathedral on Mott Street). Say what you will about House of Pain (I still love this track, personally), but it does sum up the parade pretty nicely.
Happy St. Patrick's Day
Recent Comments