Nobody loves ridiculous bullshit like this more than me, but this one's even way out of my league.
Ask any punky music geek worth their salt about the "Blitz Benefit" and he or she (and, really, let's face it ... it'll probably be a he) will immediately launch into a laboriously detailed account of the near-fatal stabbing of burly Dead Boys drummer Johnny Blitz on shadowy East 5th Street one late, late night in April of 1978 (thirty-three years ago next month). In any case, being that the estimable Mr. Blitz was invariably without any semblance of medical insurance, his punk rock peers saw fit to hold a benefit show on his behalf at CBGB during the early days of May, 1978 to help pay for his care.... a gesture of good will that flew squarely in the face of the popular preconception of punks as violent, uncaring nihilists.
The Blitz Benefit went onto become the stuff of NYC punk lore -- featuring performances by era-appropriate artists like The Ramones, Blondie, Suicide, The Contortions, The Fleshtones, The Mumps, The Sic F*cks and a host of others. Surprise luminaries like King Crimson string-bender Robert Fripp, John Waters' muse Divine and punk rock acolyte John Belushi all made the scene as well (legend has it that Belushi filled in for the recuperating Johnny Blitz on drums for the Dead Boys' set).
In any case, longtime Ramones compadre/logo-designer Arturo Vega created a special t-shirt just for the event (see above). You can catch fleeting glimpses of said garment in the photography of punk shutterbugs like Roberta Bayley, Godlis, Stephanie Chernikowski and the like. Chernikowski was quoted as calling the Blitz Benefit "Punk's Woodstock" in the excellent photo tome, "Blank Generation Revisited: The Early Days of Punk Rock." You can see Dead Boys' guitarist Jimmy Zero sporting the shirt in question in photo at left (snapped by Godlis) behind Stiv Bator and Divine. For punk fans, the Blitz Benefit shirt became something of an iconic artifact.
In May of 1978, I was all of 11 years old and haplessly infatuated with all things KISS and "Star Wars." While I might have had a clue who the Ramones were at the time, I invariably didn't know or care about the Blitz Benefit, nor would have I been able to attend it even if I did. I was a child.
But as I steeped myself in the fandom and mythology of NYC punk rock in later years (I remember my preternaturally hip classmate Zach brandishing a eye-&-ear-immolating copy of Night of the Living Dead Boys one afternoon in 8th grade), I learned all about those fabled early days of CBGB (a venue I wouldn't manage to actually grace until the latter-half of the 80s). In time, I learned to covet the Blitz Benefit shirt, like a dutiful poseur fanboy. Oddly enough, however -- unlike so many other (sub)culturally-significant items -- the Blitz Benefit t-shirt has never been reproduced. Sure, you can walk into virtually any mall across the country and prize your own CBGB t-shirt or, say, a facsimile of the Vive Le Rock t-shirt Sid Vicious was fond of sporting, but good luck finding Vega's Blitz Benefit design.
There's even a company called Worn Free that specializes in selling (pricey) knock-offs of t-shirts made famous by various rockers. Strikes me that the Blitz Benefit shirt would be right up their alley, but maybe Arturo Vega doesn't want to play ball. If that's the case, I actually kind of admire that. While I'd love to own one, I kinda like that you can't get a Blitz Benefit knock-off. Either you were there or you weren't, which is just as it should be.
Just out of curiosity, however, I recently did a search for the fabled shirt on eBay, and wouldn't ya know it? You can get one there. Yes, you can own your very own authentic Arturo Vega Blitz Benefit t-shirt .... if you're willing to pony up $3,500.00 for it.
Talk about turning rebellion into money! If you're willing to cough up that amount of cash for a t-shirt that is doubtlessly as thin as the Shroud of Turin by this stage of the proceedings, you are a very silly person indeed. However, if you're dead set on commemorating the Blitz Benefit, might I suggest saving yourself a bundle and settling for this frankly uninspiring variation.
Personally speaking, maybe if I won the Mega Millions Lottery this weekend ($319 Million, if I'm not mistaken), I'd frivolously spring for that Blitz Benefit shirt -- and slap that sucker in the frame with all speed. But that's not going to happen. Instead, I'm just going to open another cheap bottle of Budweiser and crank up my favorite Dead Boys tune below and think about paying some long overdue bills.
Post script: Johnny Blitz survived the stab wounds. I was lucky enough to catch a couple of Dead Boys reunion shows at the Ritz in the late 80s, and they were remarkable. Vocalist Stiv Bator(s), of course, died of internal bleeding after being hit by a car in Paris in 1990. Pour one out.
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