"It's So Much Bigger Than I Thought!"

Quick explanation on this one: At work, I sit under a foot away from a television tuned to MSNBC for eight hours a day. As such, I'm subjected to the commercial below about seventeen or eighteen times during the course of my workday. This might explain why it bothers me more than it might bother you.

So is it me or is Valentine's Day creating more hysteria this year than usual? In any case, this ad's been in regular, maddening rotation on MSNBC these days, and I shudder with incredulousness and abject contempt every time it airs. Watch it now....

I don't know who is guiltier here – the writers or the actors, but all parties concerned should be deeply, deeply ashamed of themselves. Evidently, all men are knuckle-dragging, predatory slack-jaws and all women are shallow push-overs who are reduced to giddy, panting infantilism by even the flimsiest of gestures. Clearly, we all live in a world solely inhabited by stalky cro-mags and squealy sex kittens. Ah, how far we've come.

Incidentally, ladies, if your man spends eighty dollars on a stuffed animal for you, it's time to read the riot act and move the hell on. Happy Valentine's Day.