TITLE: "Turned Out" (live)
ARTIST: Helmet
ALBUM: Jabberjaw: Good To The Last Drop
RELEASE DATE: 1994
It wasn't the finest of mornings. It started way back around 4am, when it became abundantly clear that my wife was losing the battle with strep throat she'd been grappling with for the past few days. Looking after both of our kids today on her own was going to be out of the question. I rose by 6am, using little Oliver's cries as an excuse to start the day and consume the first of far too many cups of coffee. Ignoring the clock, I picked up the phone, calling my long-suffering mother to swindle her into abandoning some of her plans so she could come over to help with the baby, and pleaded with Charlotte's day care center to accommodate her today (a day when she's not scheduled to be there). With a full day at The Job still looming above me like an angry bird of prey, I still had one final task before sprinting breathlessly to work in time for the morning meeting. The preschool we're enrolling Charlotte in was demanding their deposit check in by noon today. After dropping Charlotte off at her day-care center near Union Square, I hotfooted it back down to Astor Place to deliver the check. With all my missions finally executed by 9:15 am, I flicked on my iPod to score my feverish trek up to Times Square. My selection was easy. I was feeling rushed, bothered, tense, nervous and angry. Clearly, it was time for some Helmet.
I first heard this live version of "Turned Out" in 1995, while riding in the cramped backseat of a friend-of-a-friend's car in Costa Mesa, CA, ironically on our way to the very venue for which the benefit album that spawned this track was dedicated. Jabberjaw was a tiny little coffee house located on some backwater Los Angelino byway that featured live bands, but did not serve alcohol (a strike against it, I think). In any case, we were going to check out a couple of surf bands (notably the Finks and the Phantom Surfers), but my friend's friend thought some harder fare was in order, and I heartily concurred. At rhino-crippling volume, the burly, opening power chords of "Turned Out" came exploding out of the car's crappy speakers, making the studio version of the song (from `92's Meantime) sound like a Peter Frampton demo. Harder, louder, harsher, but still tourniquet-tight, the incarnation of Helmet captured here executes this track with savage precision and a complete absence of compassion. Morphing from a staccato gallop into a spiraling, sinister groove punctuated by pavement-cracking slabs of guitar, "Turned Out" is almost more of an endurance test than a simple rock song. Aurally battered and dazed, I immediately demanded that the track be played another five or six times before we reached our destination (which, if you've ever driven around Los Angeles and are familiar with its inexplicable traffic snarls, was an easy order to meet). The Finks and the Phantom Surfers were hugely entertaining (as were the surprise opening band, the Invisible Men, who wore matching smoking jackets and were swaddled in ace bandages, Claude Raines-stylee), but I couldn't wait to hear that live rendition of "Turned Out" again. I bought the disc the next day and played it to death. I don't think I've ever even bothered to listen to the other selections on the compilation, as how could they possibly measure up to "Turned Out"?
This morning, the weighty shove of the song sent me bounding down the steps to a crowded 8th Street subway platform, the pulsing punch of the rhythm battery furrowing my brow and involuntarily making my head nod. The subway car was, of course, packed, but with Page Hamilton barking like Hell's own drill sergeant in my head, I couldn't have cared less. The train spat me back out at Times Square into a teeming morass of pushy New Yorkers. I moved through them with determined stealth, ignoring my impulses to give the odd needless shove (which would've felt sooooooooooooo good, despite being rude and antagonistic). By and large, Helmet's music has had a tendency to sound pretty, well, samey, but in brief spurts -- like this live version of "Turned Out" -- they are perfect.
I arrived at work, surprisingly on time and emotionally cleansed. I credit Helmet.
TRIVIAL ADDENDUM: To my knowledge, "Turned Out" is the only song -- burly alt.metal or otherwise -- that mentions "Downtown Julie Brown."
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