After a brief albeit entirely deceptive détente, it seems the struggle for domination in our household has resumed with a vengeance. Charlotte and Oliver (ages 2 and 8 months, respectively) have devised a visceral, two-pronged assault that is swiftly crippling our defense systems and preying on the fraying sanity of my wife and I, hitting us where it truly hurts. By day, Charlotte has fully embraced an unwaivering strategy of not napping, opting instead for two and a half hours of singing, exhorting, giggling, speaking in tongues, banging on the walls and jumping up and down in her crib, not unlike a slightly cuter version of "The Exorcist." While we've resorted to not acknowledging such cloyingly giddy, high-volume shenanigans, the ramifcations of these non-naps are that in the ensuing hours, she becomes a zombified powder-keg, prone to shrill whines and irrational tantrums, figuratively pooing on any practical afternoon plans.
While Charlotte's arguably adorable wrath is the scourge of the daylight hours, it's Oliver who rules the night. In addition to already tirelessly abiding by what I'd call a "rooster shift" (waking at the proverbial crack of dawn and crowing accordingly), Oliver has recently taken to greeting each of the small hours with piercing and seemingly unplacatable demands for nourishment and attention. And once we have managed to settle him down and gently place him back in his little bed, he slyly waits until we've crept back into our bed before loudly resuming his clarion call. A bonus ploy of divide and conquer, Oliver's shrill entreaties pit my wife and I against each other (i.e. "it's your turn to get him!," "But I have to go to work in the morning!," "Oh yeah? Well, I have to deal with them all day!" etc. etc.)
Put simply, our children WILL NOT SLEEP, and my only explanation for such behavior invariably involves the occult. This is the devil's doing, surely. For this encroaching holiday weekend, we're packing up the little demons and carting them off to my Mom's place out on the `Island, where Thanksgiving may very well give way to Angstgiving as a result.
Stay tuned.
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