Teeth Versus Tongue

As I'm evidently wont to do, I've bitten my tongue again. Only, this time, I did it about a week ago, resulting in a canine-sliced divot just on the underside which has blossomed into a roiling vortex of sanity-wrinkling discomfort seven days later. I can't speak, I can't sleep, I can't eat without bursts of sharp, intense pain shooting through my mouth. At one point over the weekend, my wife dragged me to the pharmacy to investigate ways of treating it (other than my method of trying to complain it away). The matronly woman behind the counter suggested gargling with peroxide, a recommendation which struck me as somewhat unsound. "Madam," I said -- my speech slurred with swollen, crimson excruciation,"iff you fffink I'm going to put va same liquid in my mouf dat Debbie Harry uthed to wegularly dunk her hair in, you're thadly misssthaken." Undaunted, my wife bought a bottle of the stuff anyway, oblivious to my pronounced observation that the bottle clearly bore the legend "NOT TO BE TAKEN INTERNALLY." Hurrumph!

I've successfully resisted the peroxide treatment thus far, opting instead for washing my mouth out regularly with warm salt water (which stings like a bitch) and dabbing a medicated gel called "Kanka," which, given the name, I can only assume is manufactured by Australians.

In any case, until this thing goes away (please, God), my postings here may take a turn for the entirely unhinged. You've been warned.

Comments

[slocki]

i had a similar situation last week (bit my cheek). trying washing it out with oral-b amosan, which is like the official medical version of warm salt water--i found it really worked!

[Pat]

That Kanka stuff is awesome. I tend to get the same thing you do, with the tongue-biting, but Kanka is most definitely recommended. Peroxide can work; obviously you're just supposed to rinse with it and not swallow any.

[Amanda]

warm salt water is a good thing. if it doesn't seem to help, grab a (rather expensive) bottle of Phor-flur. It used to be a prescription mouthwash for people using braces, but it's over the counter now. It does a really, really good job of killing off nastiness without burning your mouthy bits.

[Applejax]

someone feels my pain! I have been biting my tongue in my sleep for a few months now and it's gotten to the point that I wake myself up screaming and crying from the pain and have to go spit blood out. Lucky for me I have no dental insurance to see a dentist about the cause and/or solution to it. I can't talk, eat, or sleep either. Shoot me please.