Whether they `fess up to it or not, everyone is afraid of something. When I was a little kid, I harbored an entirely irrational fear of wiggly rubber toys (alligators, bats, spiders, etc.). Something about the texture really creeped me out. I was also pathologically afraid of the actor, Gene Wilder (which probably had something to do with his role in "Willy Wonka & the Chocalate Factory"), and a segment that regularly aired on "Sesame Street" wherein a close-up of bald-headed James Earl Jones counted down from ten to one and then boomily announced whatever the letter of the day was. That used to send me scampering out of the room with bug-eyed stealth. I've since gotten over all three of these (though, truthfully, wiggly rubber toys still kinda bug me), but --- like anyone else -- there are still things that creep me out. Here are my top five
(1) "Worship" Music I saw a commercial over the weekend for a compact disc called Worship Jamz, an album of contemporary Christian music aimed at kids, thinly disguised as flashily "hip" pop music. Now, please don't misunderstand me here: I do not begrudge anyone's faith. This does not, however, preclude me from being severely put off by what is essentially unsavory propaganda. That it's aimed at kids only makes it more reprehensible, to my mind. Likewise, "Christian Rock" (i.e. bands who are exclusively concerned with disseminating a Christian agenda rather than bands who simply happen to be Christians, like say, U2 or the Mission UK) makes my damn skin crawl. Rock'n'roll is the devil's music! To quote the late, great Fatima Mansions: KEEP MUSIC EVIL!
(2) Hearing Loss In 1999, I developed a shrill ringing in my right ear that, unlike previous experiences with same (usually the day after a particularly loud concert), did not go away. Rubbing shoulders with the august likes of William Shatner, Pete Townshened and James Hetfield of Metallica, I had entered the world of Tinnitus (a realm from which, as of yet, there is no escape). From years of ignoring conventional wisdom and better judgement, I'd exposed my ears to a daily onslaught of high volume headphone abuse which finally took its cumulative toll. For the next two years, I didn't touch a pair of headphones, and started imbibing all sorts of homeopathic remedies in an attempt to silence the ring. None were successful (though I still sporadically take the encouragingly named tablet, "Ring Stop"). Eventually, I grew used to the ring and even started using headphones again. That said, I have to police myself. The ring does get louder every now and again, at which points I take long breaks from listening to headphones and double-up on my otherwise worthless "Ring Stop" dosage. But the idea of the ring increasing (or spreading to both ears) is absolutely terrifying to me. I already find myself asking people to repeat themselves when speaking to me (which, by the way, is no fun for any of the concerned parties). The idea of my hearing being any worse than it already is scares me no end.
(3) Creationism Could people really be this stupid?
(4) Michael Jackson fans I find it somewhat chilling that people still care, love and support -- much less tolerate -- this man in the wake of all that has transpired.
(5) Being Buried Alive I imagine that this would be pretty unpleasant.
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