A Blog with Sharper Teeth

I bit my tongue earlier this week whilst chewing some gum. Come to think of it, I've been inadvertantly sinking my evidently razor-like incisors into my tongue and lip with alarming frequency lately. Maybe it's because of stress or maybe it's because I eat too fast or maybe it's my nascent vampiric tendencies finally coming to full fruition, but damn if it ain't a painful and hugely unpleasant habit. It impedes the enjoyment of any food (even the soft stuff) and lends my speech a quality that suggests I've logged several hours on the short bus home from school. It's hard to make a convincing argument to your co-worker about the brilliance of Heaven Born And Ever Bright, the criminally undersung fourth album by insanely proggy-post-punk band, Cardiacs, when it sounds like you're holding your tongue and trying to say "I was born on a pirate ship."

I figured that since my last post here on Flaming Pablum was earnestly dedicated to my seasonal warfare with pollen, I might as well continue on the self-indulgent malady tack and moan about my aching tongue. And while I'm at it, I should also take the opportunity to bitch about my "benign" positional vertigo (prompting unpredictable dizzy spells), my allergies to apples, pears, peaches, plums, strawberries, beets, almonds and soff-shell crab, my worryingly regular bouts with heartburn and the piercing tinnitus that continues to whistle its seemingly tireless clarion call in my right ear. Maybe I should change the name of this weblog to Flaming Hypochondriac's Complaint Corner.

Now that I've gotten that out of my system,….

In the middle of my daily lunchtime walk around the block today, during a brief pause in entertaining deeply uncharitable thoughts about the hoards of roaming, corpulent tourists impeding my path, my eyes caught sight of a postcard for sale on the racks of one of those cheap-o "I Love NY" curio shops. The postcard featured several images of the World Trade Center in flames, inscribed underneath with the legend: "Manhattan Under Attack: The Unthinkable!" Why would anyone buy one of these? And who would they send it to? What sort've reaction would they hope to inspire? I simply don't get it. Then again, there are people out there who buy commemorative "Ground Zero: 9/11" baseball caps, so go figure.