Despite having logged something somewhat similar about a month back, I am hereby following the example set by my friend, colleague and fellow `blogger, Jonathan.....
1. Finding Urinals Unflushed: That's right, urinals. Is it so much to ask, guys, that when you've finished the doubtlessly exhausting task of draining your inner keg to simply flush? There are few things as unpleasant as approaching a urinal already filled to the brim with the contents of the previous user's bladder, smelling like Hell's own briney microbrewery. Why wouldn't anyone flush? I really don't get it.
2. People who try to board the subway before the exiting passengers have gotten off: Hey Jackass! I know you're in a hurry to get wherever it is you're going, but so is everyone else! And a little patience and consideration on your part will expedite the entire process. Unless of course you enjoy being roughly elbowed, inconvenienced and quiet possibly assaulted by that one straphanger who has simply had enough of your selfish, stupid bullshit.
3. "Drops": Symptomatic of the cultural infestation of insipidly stupid Hip Hop lingo, albums are now no longer released, but, rather, "drop" (i.e. "yo, my new album drops May 3, yo!"), equating the distribution of compact discs to retail outlets with a dangling dollop of dung tenuously hanging from an incontinent cow's posterior.
4. Websites that unsolicitedly play music at you: - Few things are as jarring as clicking onto a site -- be it a band website or someone's MySpace page or wherever --- and being blown out of your chair by a surprise blast of streaming audio. How about a little warning? This is especially annoying and embarassing when you're at the office, for obvious reasons.
5 ."Goes" and/or "goes like" Vs. "Says": Despite being so uptight about these things, this is one I believe I'm also guilty of from time to time. "So, then, Mark goes 'That's not my hot dog," etc. and[or "I was, like, "excuse me…'"
6. Headphones in inappropriate places In the elevator, in the men's room (saw this today), on a bike (asking for trouble) in your car (illegal, I believe). Look, man, few people enjoy music as much as I do -- but there's a time and place for everything, and inside a cramped elevator just ain't one of them….especially if you're nodding your head and singing along like a dick.
7. Needlessly long laces on sneakers: Where is the benefit here? I got so fed up with tying DOUBLE KNOTS in my daughter's little sneakers that I went ahead and bought her a pair of miniature Vans. The hip retro kitsch element is just a side-dish to the freedom from lace-rage and potential face-plant hazard.
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