I entered the workforce pretty promptly after I graduated from college (landing my first quasi-official "job" as an upaid intern at SPIN in the summer of 1989). Since those balmy, carefree days, however, as I've gradually climbed the ladder towards more respectable titles, I've noticed a recent uptick in insufferable corporate lingo. It's been more rife at certain organizations than at others, but I'm worryingly starting to notice it that it's slowly spilling out of the office environment and starting to infect the lexicon of everyday, out-of-office speak. This will not do. As such, here's a handy guide of terms and phrases you need to stop earnestly using at once, whether you're standing in a monolithic, corporate tower of imposing glass and steel or reaching into your friend's fridge for a cold beer on a Saturday night. You'll thank me later.
In no order....
- Sweet spot
- Iterative
- Wheelhouse
- Granular
- Offerings
- Bandwidth
- Evangelize
- Ask (used as a friggin' noun instead of question, query or request)
- Learning (used as a friggin' noun)
- Effort (used as a friggin' verb)
- "Moving the dial"
- Ping
- Powow
- "Gentle reminder"
- "Own it"
- Jenky
- "Low hanging fruit" (I've been combatting this with "easily accessible vegetables")
- "Drill down"
- "Net net"
- "Apples to apples"
- "Shitshow"
Which ones am I missing?
Sorry, dude. Wheelhouse and Sweet Spot are mandatory baseball jargon!
Posted by: GG Allin | March 16, 2013 at 05:05 PM
Well, be that as it may, they infiltrated the office quite some time ago. And why would wheelhouse -- essentially a nautical term, I'm assuming -- have any relevance to baseball?
Posted by: Alex in NYC | March 16, 2013 at 05:22 PM
Wheelhouse is the term used for the zone a batter swings through with the most power. "Tommy John left it up in the zone, right in Jim Rice's wheelhouse."
Posted by: GG Allin | March 16, 2013 at 07:29 PM
Alright, if you say so.
Posted by: Alex in NYC | March 16, 2013 at 09:01 PM
Action (as a verb)
Posted by: k | March 16, 2013 at 11:26 PM
"Synergize" (usually said as both hands come together and fingers intertwine)
Posted by: GG Allin | March 17, 2013 at 10:36 AM
Deep dive!
Posted by: Jackson | March 17, 2013 at 06:09 PM
Ooh....deep dive ...good one.
Posted by: Alex in NYC | March 17, 2013 at 10:13 PM
How about 'at the end of the day' and 'bellweather'; can't stand those.
Posted by: greg6833 | March 18, 2013 at 08:23 AM
we can discuss this offline.
Posted by: Bowery Boogie | March 18, 2013 at 12:16 PM
"110 per cent"
"We'd better not let the grass grow too long on this one"
Granularity, meaning detail, as in "down to that level of granularity'."
"Ping Me"
"Living the values"
"In the current climate"
"Guesstimate"
Also anything that was ever written on those Inspirational Office Posters
Posted by: Harry | March 19, 2013 at 12:31 PM