Lane In Vain IV: Selling The Cause

I should probably preface this rant by admitting that I actually really like Brooklyn Industries. Sure, there's something a little too close to the wannabe aesthetic of, say, Urban Outfitters, but their clothes seem pretty well made and aren't unattractive or ostentatious. That all said, I blanched a little this morning upon noticing that Brooklyn Industries are now basically cashing-in on the celebrated clash between Brooklyn's age-old Hasidic community and the comparatively recent influx invasion of cloying, rail-thin "fauxhemians" (thanks, Gawker) over the legitimacy of bike lanes.

It's a turf-war-of-sorts I've talked about a few times here before. The conflict even recently reached the pages of New York magazine this past April. In a nutshell, the Brooklynites are warring over whether or not certain strips of roadway in Williamsburg should be open to bike lanes or not. The trendsluts want'em. The Hasidim do not, as they're concerned with scantily clad female cyclists cruising through their neighborhood, tempting their faithful with images of heretical carnality. The city removed the lanes, prompting a couple of naughty ironoclasts to cheekily re-paint then. Since last I checked in with the struggle, I'm not sure if any progress has been made in the stalemate, but Brooklyn Industries are throwing their hat into the ring by hawking t-shirts that boldly demand More Bike Lanes. I guess it makes sense, given the store's idealized demographic, but something about it just seems kinda a little too .... I don't know .... desperate.

Don't get me wrong, though. With all due respect to the concerns of the Williamsburg Hasidim, I'm all for more bike lanes. I don't get to take my trusty Trek out as often as I'd like, but when I do, I'm always grateful to have the access to bike lanes. That being said, I am ROUTINELY put off by pig-headed displays of what I can only describe as haughty "bike lane entitlement." Listen, pedal-pushers, the bike lanes are indeed reserved for bicycles, but that doesn't mean you're still not ultimately A TENUOUSLY-WELCOME GUEST IN THE EMPIRE OF THE AUTOMOBILE. Learn that point. Yes, the lanes are yours, but every now and then, a car is going to be FORCED to compromise it for the sheer, unavoidable purposes of loading or unloading passengers. That's just the way it is. Don't like it? Then move.

At least three times in the last couple of weeks, I've seen obstreperous bicyclists sniffily lip off or flip a vehement bird to a motorist that dared momentarily impede the pristine sanctity of the bike lane. I've railed about it before, but when I grew up bicycling in NYC in the late 70's, 80's & 90's, WE DIDN'T HAVE THE LUXURY OF BIKE LANES, and we did just fine using our powers of perception and self-preservation. Stop acting like spoiled children and learn your place in the friggin' food chain.

Comments

[Smart Ass]

http://www.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/d91f5e5848.jpg

[randolf hurts]

"learn your place in the friggin' food chain."

what the fuck does that mean?

[Steve H]

The Satmars' idea of "scantily clad" is uncovered knees. KNEES. I say, anything that tweaks obsolete 18th century morality is a good thing.

[Alex in NYC]

It means that like it or not, cars are bigger than you and can hurt you more than you can hurt them. The roads were built for (and ultimately belong to) them, not you.

[Jared]

Yes, the roads were built for cars, unfortunately. But it would be a better world if there were more bikes and fewer cars. Bikes have just as much right to be there, legally and morally. You don't like THAT? YOU move.

[Alex in NYC]

Of course it would be, but here on Earth, it's just not that way. Bikes have a right to be there, yes, but their riders should use their heads. Think about the recklessness of taxi drivers, the bulkiness of busses and the equally defendable priorities of regular car drivers. Until your Utopian realm of a car free-world comes into existence, the bicyclists should conduct themselves with caution and consideration ... or move to car-free Fire Island.

[Jared]

Who said anything about Utopia? Who said anything about a car-free world?

You don't have to remind bicyclists about the risks. We accept these risks. We actually have a much better idea than most people how reckless cab drivers are, and how big buses are. What really pisses me off is when people argue that because bikes are smaller and slower than cars, it's the bicyclist who doesn't belong. This is a might-makes-right argument, and it's wrong. Or let's say: undemocratic.

(For the record, I think bikers should be as considerate as everyone else, and that taunting Hasidim is tacky.)

[Jared]

I also agree that using this as a way to sell t-shirts is annoying. But I might have had a different opinion if the shirt was less harsh.

[matthew]

This whole "food chain" metaphor is totally moronic.

You think you have exclusive rights to something because you are capable of doing more damage to the people you share it with?

Guess what. You're a fucking psycho.

[Alex in NYC]

And you're naive idiot.